The purpose of playing

Okay, there are a few otome games out there I like and I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for Cheritz games starting with “Nameless” and “Dandelion Wishes” I didn’t enjoy Dandelion as much as Nameless but when they came out with Mystic Messenger I enjoyed the routes and out they divided out the play time so much! (you can tell a lot of the characters are the same haha Okay I don’t play to analyze  characters and if you really like a character it is kind of nice to “see” them again).

So first, why do I play otome games? The romance of the story. The feeling of me getting to be in the game. I don’t really play for the other side plots. I guess they all have the mysterious thing happening in the background but I play to get the happy ending and have a sweet romantic conclusion.

In Nameless I really enjoyed all the endings (and some of the bad endings too haha!) and it was satisfying.

When I first played Mystic Messenger I really liked all the characters (except Yoosung sorry he was just too babyish for me) and the endings made sense and the after endings were very sweet. The best routes for me were Jumin and 707 and I see on many posts that they are generally the favorite. 707 is the final route and you see the whole story and all the background of mint eye and you get the whole plot, but if you are like me… I just care about the romance haha!


After playing other otome games I really missed Mystic Messenger I think they do things very well and I enjoyed the game play and waiting for the chats. So you can imagine my excitement when they came out with two new routes! V and Ray.




Okay, I don’t know what I was expecting… V’s route is disappointing. Mystic Messenger deals with a lot of mental issues of depression and suicide. Okay, that is completely fine, and I appreciate it when those themes are handled well. However, I don’t play otome games to be a councilor and a mean person to people who have mental issues.

I don’t enjoy being mean to Ray so I can get with V. I don’t enjoy the ending to V’s route since the MC turned into this “warm” person who apparently just lets two people go off in their mental trauma and does nothing to stop it. How in the F*** is that a good ending? Oh he goes off after two years after *MAJOR SPOILER* and people kill themselves. How the heck is that a good ending? “Oh a mentally ill person committed suicide but we all can be happy now.” Ugh. And HE GOES AWAY FOR TWO YEARS WITHOUT TALKING TO THE MC AND JUST COMES BACK AND SHE IS WAITING FOR HIM? WTF!!!!

Then in the end all we get is a picture of V’s face. No kiss. Okay am I acting like a spoiled kid? I think in the good endings you expect something…. kissing? allusions  to love making? a strong partnership? I don’t know. I was disappointed. I’m sad I spent 11 days being mean to people who needed professional help and then the ending sucked. I don’t even know if I want to play Ray’s route now. I’m just disappointed.

I may have to go back and play 707’s route to wash  my brain.8553132983e5b55355d2d566697b6495

Does anyone have a good otome game they like to play? I need something good since I don’t know if I can handle another route where I have to be a jerk to everyone and then get a unsatisfying end. I still want to like myself when I’m done playing! Anyway, happy watching or playing! Hope you enjoyed it more than I did…

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The beating heart of a creative

It has been hard to think of a anime to write about this past month. I haven’t had a chance to finish anything that excited or angered me enough to write a post about. However, I did attend a writing conference the first week of February that has left my heart full. It came at the right time in my life. The encouragement of other creatives. They know the struggle and there is nothing more powerful than not feeling alone.


I have had to shoulder a lot of responsibilities in this last month.

It is up to me to make the choices to keep going. On that day in December of 2016 I made the choice to live and since then it has never been easy, but I never looked back to the moment that I wanted to end my life again.

Writing has become a stronghold in my life and rejections aren’t what they used to be for me. I get rejected and I move on, yes it would be nice to be published but it isn’t the end anymore because I’m creating. I’m living.

I have something that brings me joy and purpose. I hope that that there is something in your life that gives you that joy. I hope that you don’t sell yourself short and try to downplay your awesomeness because you have doubt. Don’t believe the lies that tell you that you aren’t good enough. At the writing conference I got to listen to Brandon Sanderson speak. He likes to say he is an “overnight success ten years in the making” the one thing that really stood out to me is that he came to the point where nothing was getting published, but he was okay with it. If he died with 90 manuscripts in his closet he would be happy because he was doing what he loved.

That is a powerful thought to have when you are creating something but you aren’t making money from it. Who is it for? Yes, we would all love to get paid for the things we create and sometimes the process is long, hard, and lonely. In the end, are you happy that you get a chance to create? Can you wait to be that “overnight success”?

I’m in the process of trying to get published. Maybe this book won’t be the first one that gets published. Maybe I get published and only sell 10 copies to my family. I’m not afraid anymore. I’m not afraid to get rejected or fail. Because ten years of not trying felt worse than the form rejection emails. Writing is now a part of my life. I’m not just talking about the book idea I have… I have a finished book! I’m not just sitting around trying to sell this book… I’m writing the next one! Because who knows if I will ever get books signings, convention panels, or movie deals. I may just have 90 unpublished manuscripts in my closet when I die, but you know what? I’ll take it.


I hope you quiet that voice in your head that tells you that you aren’t good enough or that compares you to another creative. The only one who that can write your story is you. Keep creating, keep living, and keep your joy alive.

Continue, Don’t Quit : You Are Not in This Alone

Sometimes in life you feel like the troubles are too much to handle. Please read these wise words from Auri. Reach out. You are not alone.

Manga Toritsukareru Koto

Some days, as you wake up, you wonder what the point of this is. This whole talking, eating, sleeping.

This living.

What was the point of it, when you felt like you were watching another person’s life and yet felt so much pain? As if you weren’t meant to exist? As if… anything you touched became a disaster?
Was there even a point to begin with?

Every day, you have a heavy secret in your heart. One that grows heavier with every person you don’t tell it to. That weighs you down more and more as you think it but don’t say it out loud.
Until it gets so heavy, so LOUD, that you can’t believe that it’s only three words. Three simple words to think, but three very difficult words to feel.
And so, again and again, you think it, but you don’t speak it. You can’t say it.

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Cause it’s cute?

I’ll be the first to admit I like sparkly and cute things, yeah I know… My bag has mermaid sequins and I’m in love. However, I don’t really watch anime “because it’s cute” I tend to like some sort of story line and a bit of a deeper thrill or a sweet romance.

“How to Keep a Mummy” is only 2 episodes in and much to my chagrin I’m enjoying it. Gosh it is just… so… dang… cute.


The main character Sora gets sent a mummy from his father. Apparently his father sends horrible gifts that try to kill him. So Sora opens the gift with a lot of trepidation. Out pops this little miniature mummy that he really doesn’t know what to do with or how to take care of.


I mean you aren’t going to get any major plot points. The episodes will probably each have a small crisis. It is only two episodes in and I don’t see this going any deeper than that, and it isn’t supposed to. It is just going to be a cute anime that makes your heart all warm inside.


Take a break from the winter chill and let your insides melt for a bit. Give your brain a break and bask in the cuteness of a little pudgy mummy. I think I will enjoy these episodes. Happy Watching!

Looking back

This is a post that was meant to happen the first week of January. My real world kind of exploded and I haven’t had the time to sit down and write for a couple weeks. Now that things have settled down to be more normal, I’m hoping to get back to my schedule. Also I want to thank everyone for the award nominations. I tried to keep track… but I think I will end up missing a few. I’m so thankful for the nominations and thankful that you all follow my blog.

I’m going to look back to when I got an Amazon Strike subscription for one week to watch what I consider to be the best anime of 2017. Now that Amazon Strike is no more hopefully more will be able to watch “Made in the Abyss” and enjoy the story as much as I did.

At first glance when I saw the picture as I was scrolling through it looked a bit childish and I was unsure if I wanted to watch it. I pick anime based on my mood:  Do I want action? Romance? Adventure? Thriller? I was in a weird mood that day and I couldn’t find anything that I wanted to start. So I just dived in and started my free subscription and “Made in the Abyss” took me on a journey that I will never forget.


The world building in this anime is fantastic. I tend to enjoy a world that has set rules and then stick to those rules. With this world there is a giant abyss (didn’t see that one coming huh? haha) and the people go down into the abyss to find relics of another era or time. That is a mystery that is still ongoing about what/who exactly left these relics (I have a few theories on that but I’ll let you find your own 😉 ). There are levels to the abyss and starting Cave Raiders are red whistles. They can only go to the first level without suffering too much from the “curse of the abyss”. The curse is ill effects that happen to your mind and body as you ascend from the abyss. The lower you go the worse the effects are. And when you go upwards even a few feet the effects start happening.


The main character Riko finds a robot on one of her raids. He looks human but he can’t remember anything. He is then called Reg and the children decide to hide him since they believe that if they turned him in he would get taken apart to be researched. In this world all these children belong to a home and they have to give the head of the house everything they find at the end of the day. Right away you will realize that this isn’t an anime for children. The children are abused Riko is strapped up naked for keeping a relic from the abyss. There is a continuing theme of these forgotten children who no longer have parents or who have parents that are gone. It comes to head at the end of season one.

This anime does a great job of developing the world but not taking a long time to get the story started. Riko’s journey begins when a letter arrived from her mother, Lyza, telling her to meet her at the bottom of the abyss.


Riko’s mother is what they call a “white whistle” they are the only ones who made it to the bottom of the abyss and survived the effects of the curse. Her mother has been missing presumed dead for some time. This letter leads Riko to believe that her mother is alive.

There is a great mystery surrounding this world. As you watch you get the feeling that something ominous is just around the corner that has been kept hidden. Secrets. That is in part of what makes this anime so good. You can’t just figure it out but you know it is there. There is a lie going around about this world and as you watch you have a desire to be let in on the secret. The white whistles have to be a part of that mystery. There is only a handful of them and we only meet one with Riko, Ozen, the one who trained Lyza. The others we see flashes of in another story. It leads you to believe that maybe these white whistles aren’t such great people and there is an agenda that we don’t know about.

Riko learns about her birth from Ozen. Ozen can be one of those characters that you want to hate but you don’t understand fully. I’m still not sure if I would ever trust her or not and I’ve seen the end result. Each character has their own motivation and again that is part of what makes this a great anime to watch. They all have their own goals and desires.

I think that goes with the world. It is easy to believe that people who want to be the first at something or the first to make a discover. We see these things even in Indiana Jones. The world of finding relics may be more cutthroat than we see.


Seeing this journey through children’s eyes can be somewhat disconcerting. The story does a great job in setting up Riko’s character to make her believable and self sufficient. You kind of need to be in this world. Also I love that Reg’s powers have rules. There is no unlimited use. This anime doesn’t make things easy and that is also what makes it so great.

The creatures they meet along the way. Whew… They are just as amazing and unique as the characters themselves. Again they have rules and can be very horrifying and nightmarish. So not only do they have to worry about the curse of the abyss but with each level it brings in creatures that basically want to kill and eat them.


There are a couple episodes at the end that open up about the darker side of this world. The characters and the backstory are truly heartbreaking and I had tears pouring down my face. It sets the conflict up well for season two and we know things are not going to get any easier for our characters.

If anything the art is visually fantastic. I also enjoyed the credits.


I love little things like this… When you see the end credits you get to see where Reg and Riko are on their journey in the abyss. It add a nice touch and it gives your mind a map to follow along.

Each level in the abyss has its own world and story. Again give this anime a try. This is my top choice for 2017 over all the seasons. It is unique and I have no complaints about the plot. Every so often we get a truly amazing anime that leaves you sitting still in the moments after you finish knowing that you were just a part of something amazing. Happy Watching!