My First

Hey I want to join in on the Valentines train and talk about the first time I fell in love with a 2D anime boy? man? I don’t know but it was a moment that I will remember. Then it became the end for me.

So what is the deal with falling in “love” with fictional characters. Honestly, it is the fantasy that is presented. We get to see something that is perfect to us and as humans we are probably never going to find a perfect person. That is all a part of wishing that character was real.

Then we all know if they did exist they would annoy the spit out of us.

I remember in high school the first 2D men that showed interest in were Captain Lee Shang, and Adam from Beauty and the Beast. Maybe this was only the start. Since I didn’t start watching anime until later these two men live fondly in my heart for my teenage years.

And what do you call those characters in books? 1D? So many characters that are easy to fangirl over. Char from Ella Enchanted won over my heart each time I reread that book. Then I was one of those who was team Edward, but in my adult mind I realize that Jacob would have been the healthier relationship. haha.

So anime entered my life and I watched a few but then I found this anime called Fairy Tail. This show gets a lot of flack because it is pretty repetitive and really no one can die (it seems at times). Then some characters seem super strong then are weak after they are defeated and join Fairy Tail… Yeah this anime has a lot of problems but it is something I still enjoy watching.

So in episode one I can blame this character for starting my love for 2D anime boys.


Natsu Dragneel.

Seem odd? Maybe.

When he came in at the end of the first episode suddenly muscles appeared on his arms. Then fire. Yeah, fire makes everything hot. Literately and figuratively.

My eyes widened and I let out a small intake of air. It didn’t help that my husband noticed too. He did not let me live it down.

Since then I’ve had many love affairs but Natsu will always be my first.


Hope you all have a moment to talk to someone you love today. I think I’ll go re watch episode one…

Happy Watching!

Something to think about

Thank you everyone for your comments and support as I pitched my latest story last week.

I’m excited to announce that I got a request for my ya fantasy!

Then I had some hard moments at the conference. The topic came up of authors who write in cultures that are not their own. My ya fantasy is based in historic Japanese and Korean culture. I took elements from both and then melded them into my novel. It is still very obviously Japanese based.

In living in Korea and learning about Japanese culture for the last six years my main goal was to share my love for both. I never expected that this would make my novel a harder sell since I was not born in either culture. This spoke to a bit to my own white privilege that I didn’t think it would be a problem.

It was a sobering thought. I wrote this novel, and I was not only excited to see my improvement as a writer, but to share this world with others.

I spent a good amount of time mad at myself and then feeling sick that I may hurt others with this novel. The characters are now alive in my mind and their story is not over. Thoughts of shelving it and then not writing books two and three seemed like the reasonable choice.

Then my novel that I was about to start was based in a Korean myth with all Korean characters. It was also going to weave in the story of  depression and suicide. Using elements of the myth and the character to speak to those who are suffering in silence. You are all familiar with “My Reasons Why” and how that is a theme that is extremely important to me. I knew this novel would be hard to write in the first place but I thought it was time. Then more thoughts of scrapping it came in my heart. Again, what right did I have to write about a Korean myth?

Throughout all of this a bit of my joy in writing seemed to leave my heart.

Then my writing friends, who knew my story, surrounded me. They encouraged me to continue to write these stories that were on my heart. To keep on going.

I am very blessed to have so many that believe in me. In writing these novels it was never my intention to take away someone else’s story. This was the story that came to my heart. Written in cultures that I love.

I know that in the future I will need to think on hiring sensitivity readers. Since in all my novels I want to be diverse in all aspects of culture, sexuality, body types, and many more. I also have a lot to learn.

This blog that I have ignored for a few months is also part of sharing what I love with others. It is the reason I started it! I wanted to share my love for anime, then I found so many wonderful anime lovers.

So I guess it is time to roll up my sleeves and then get cracking on the next project. This one lived on my heart for the last two years. It will be hard to tell. It will take me back to a time when I myself thought that suicide was the only answer, but it needs to be told.


Dream Chaser

When I started this blog I never knew that something would take me away from it for so long.

Gosh, I love anime. I think you all can relate. Also I love all of those people who love anime. Like I said before when someone says they like anime it really is like an instant connection.

One of my writing friends talked about recently how sometimes in life he tries to keep things balanced. When he pays more attention to one thing the others start to fall.

I never related to that so much. I’ve been writing a book… Some of you may remember. I hope I haven’t been completely forgotten!

I finished it and edited it and this Friday I’m going to pitch it to an agent (the first of many probably). This book really flowed. It had rough days but in the end I really dedicated my time to it… Thus the other writing in my life, this blog, fell to the side. I lost my balance.

In the next weeks I hope to regain some of that and also catch up to what you all have been doing! I’ve missed you so much, and I can wait to read and see what’s been going on…

Also, I’ve really needed some Promised Neverland discussion in my life. Oh my word I sit and wait for that anime to upload.

Keep me in your thoughts this week as I go out to a conference and try to pitch this new novel. It is the best things I’ve written so far and I’m excited to see how I keep improving!Sarah Scribbles

Dear Brother

This time of year I always feel a bit off and then I remember, it’s because you’re not here. It is strange how birthdays turn in to lonely memorials of those who leave us. Then fondness of the memories you have and regret at those you forgot.

You left me with something that I carry forever– The passion to write and tell these stories in my head. I can finally honestly say to you that– I’m doing it. I’m following my dream. You were at the start of it all, my dear brother. You will always be the first one on my journey to find the passion in my life. You never said it was a silly dream and you honestly gave the best advice– Write. Isn’t that funny what it comes down to? Just write. You don’t need to be an expert, you don’t need to know everything. Just write.

Pages are filled in my high school notebooks. Ones that will never see the light of day. Pages that helped me grow and learn. Thousands of words. It is pretty fun to go back and remember.

I remember fondly all the times you took me out for ice cream. The gifts you gave me as I grew up. The other day I looked through many pictures and I miss not getting to sit by you at Christmas dinner. I was a pretty clingy brat (My apologies to Holly). When I go your post cards and my fingers slowly trace your handwriting; it is almost like you aren’t gone when I have things around me that remind me of you. I even came across the Jasmine Barbie doll you gave me. My years of playing with dolls have passed but she remains a guardian of precious memories of my childhood.

The Belle figurine watches me in my writing room as I scrape together words. The picture of us looking forward on the ferry makes me think of my future. We both were looking forward that day and you honestly had so much more to give and do. It is hard to make wishes that won’t come true but I wish you were still here. I think I always will. We never got to write that book together but you are in every book I write.

Thank you for calling me and saying that you love me. Thank you for letting me hug you constantly. Thank you for coming to my birthdays. Thank you emailing me and letting me vent all my silly teenage drama (that alone should make you a saint). Thank you for sharing your love of fantasy and I wish I could be friends with you now. I have so much I want to share with you now that I’m older (I think you would have liked anime, maybe you did). Thank you for sharing your love of travel.

Thank you for being honest with me about your struggles. You were not perfect but you also showed me that a person can change and do better. I picked myself up these last few years, your honesty helped me see hope. I promise I won’t travel down that path of darkness again.

Thank you for being a listening ear, a pair of warm arms, and a truly kind soul. A brother taken too soon.

I miss you.

I love you.

See you.

Things that make me Happy!

I was nominated by Lilisblissfulpages to list 50 things that make me happy

Check out her blog for read book insights and also the Read-A-Thon (Did you just rename it?) 24 hours of straight reading! I have yet to make it that long haha!

This is really a good time of year to be thinking of these things in our lives. We just pasted Thanksgiving in the states and we are coming up on Christmas. These last few years it has been good to focus on non-material things since I haven’t had the money to buy my family any gifts. I always tell them to not get me anything either. It really is nice just to be with them. I have brothers that I rarely get to see and most of the time they don’t come to Christmas so it tends to just be me and my parents.

So lets see how far I get down this list of 50!

  1. Dogs- and honestly animal in general. I love my four rescues and they are really like my children.

    So freaking cute! The white fluff is my first adopted one when I lived in Korea 😀
  2. Writing- It is always fun to put down writing as something that makes me happy. Because if you write (hey bloggers) you know how frustrating writing can be. How you find that you used the word slowly 175 times in your manuscript. When you just can’t seem to put a comma in the write place. Also when you stare at a blank screen and those damn words just don’t seem to cooperate. Then in the end you struggled through those 500 words and you find that really fun moment where you realize you are doing something you love. Yes, happiness is a funny word to describe writing but in the end things in our life that make us happy are things we work for.
  3. My room- I get my own writing room. It really is nice to close the door and be able to have some focus
  4. Theatre- I used to act and I loved it. I still find so much magic in going to live theatre.
  5. Slow snow- Nothing is more peaceful than slow falling snow. It just kind of sparkles.
  6. Anime- Yeah this will always pop up. The stories, the characters, the abs… There really is something for everyone. I just wrote a post on why I love anime. I’m just always happy that I found it.
  7. Urban Fantasy- Gosh I love this genre. The sarcasm really is right up my alley. The action the bit of darkness. The struggle of the characters. It is something I will always enjoy reading.
  8. YA Fantasy- This is a genre that has grown so much and I wish I had this many amazing and diverse books to read when I was a teen. I love the fact that it is something that can be enjoyed for any age and there is something for everyone.
  9. The manga Mars- This was a manga that put me in a reading slump for over a month. The longest ever. Nothing I read could compare to it. I loved the tragic characters. The story. The relationship. It really hit me in a hard way and I want to reread it but I also don’t want to…
  10. Ella Enchanted- This is a ya book that I read every year. I love fractured fairy tales and I love Cinderella stories. Something about an underdog you know? This was one of the first books I read as a young girl that had this spunky female lead. I think before I was used to reading about “nice girls” I loved the character. I think it is safe to say that you will see a bit of Ella in a lot of my female characters. But with more swearing…
  11. Chocolate – This makes me a bit too happy and I think I enjoy it too much.
  12. Hak- Also I have a full post about my husbando.
    But in case you forgot… ha

    13. Christmas trees- I don’t have one up in my house but honestly I can stare at a Christmas tree for hours. I don’t know what it is about the lights or the tree or the memories in the ornaments. It just makes me feel so happy!

14. The aniblogger community- It makes me so happy to take about anime on here. I don’t get to talk about it much in my life. I’m just so happy I have a safe place to write about anime and talk about it with others.

15. Is this the place where I have to list individual anime? hahaha Honestly 50 things isn’t much but it is a lot to write.

16. Warm socks – My feet are usually really hot but dang in the winter cozy socks are amazing!

17. Writing Conferences- I’m so lucky to go to places that really recharge me as a writer. A place where I met other writers and we check in with each other. I hope you have found a small group of other people that encourage you with what you love to do. If you don’t you can always send me a message and we can talk! I’m awkward but I love to hear about what you love!

18. The fact that I can’t make it to 50 since I rambled on too much but I know you all won’t judge me. Right?

Thank you you again to Lili for the nomination and I’m sorry it took me so long to get to doing this post.

So take some time in this holiday season to think about the things that make you happy!

Happy Watching!