The beating heart of a creative

It has been hard to think of a anime to write about this past month. I haven’t had a chance to finish anything that excited or angered me enough to write a post about. However, I did attend a writing conference the first week of February that has left my heart full. It came at the right time in my life. The encouragement of other creatives. They know the struggle and there is nothing more powerful than not feeling alone.

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I have had to shoulder a lot of responsibilities in this last month.

It is up to me to make the choices to keep going. On that day in December of 2016 I made the choice to live and since then it has never been easy, but I never looked back to the moment that I wanted to end my life again.

Writing has become a stronghold in my life and rejections aren’t what they used to be for me. I get rejected and I move on, yes it would be nice to be published but it isn’t the end anymore because I’m creating. I’m living.

I have something that brings me joy and purpose. I hope that that there is something in your life that gives you that joy. I hope that you don’t sell yourself short and try to downplay your awesomeness because you have doubt. Don’t believe the lies that tell you that you aren’t good enough. At the writing conference I got to listen to Brandon Sanderson speak. He likes to say he is an “overnight success ten years in the making” the one thing that really stood out to me is that he came to the point where nothing was getting published, but he was okay with it. If he died with 90 manuscripts in his closet he would be happy because he was doing what he loved.

That is a powerful thought to have when you are creating something but you aren’t making money from it. Who is it for? Yes, we would all love to get paid for the things we create and sometimes the process is long, hard, and lonely. In the end, are you happy that you get a chance to create? Can you wait to be that “overnight success”?

I’m in the process of trying to get published. Maybe this book won’t be the first one that gets published. Maybe I get published and only sell 10 copies to my family. I’m not afraid anymore. I’m not afraid to get rejected or fail. Because ten years of not trying felt worse than the form rejection emails. Writing is now a part of my life. I’m not just talking about the book idea I have… I have a finished book! I’m not just sitting around trying to sell this book… I’m writing the next one! Because who knows if I will ever get books signings, convention panels, or movie deals. I may just have 90 unpublished manuscripts in my closet when I die, but you know what? I’ll take it.

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I hope you quiet that voice in your head that tells you that you aren’t good enough or that compares you to another creative. The only one who that can write your story is you. Keep creating, keep living, and keep your joy alive.